Pool Review #2 (The Constant Gravity Inducing Non-Swim Pool)

The world of pools is an intricately labyrinth in itself. There are interminable varieties of pool. The are endless pools, which are not really endless, just misunderstood. There are Olympic pools that actually are not particularly good at any sport, and have never been gods of anything. Many deep ends are actually only deep enough for small children to swim in, and some deep ends hold dark corners never before seen by human eyes.

In my infinite search for more pools to review, I came across the most perplexing of these specimens: the constant gravity inducing non-swim pool, known in some countries as “the shower”. What to say about the myriad of songs that have been written in the confines of a constant gravity inducing non-swim pool? It seems to be the primary provider of creative outbursts. Wasn’t Lincoln in the shower when he thought about freeing the slaves? Wasn’t Kubrick in the shower when he carefully laid out the intricate maze that is the hotel from the shining? Wasn’t Adele in the shower when she came up with “Rolling In The Deep”?


This beauty.

Indeed. The CGINSP, as it is called in certain underground circles, holds much mystique in our daily lives. It is the birthplace of the soul, and the final resting place of the infinitely sapient. It creates and destroys heroes and nemesis alike. It cleans us. It binds us.

By far, the most comfortable feature of the CGINSP is its built-in temperature control. With a simple flick of the wrist, you may find yourself in the hottest of infernos, or in the coldest tundras. Regulating this factor, in many CGINSP’s is an art by itself. A science, if you will. The subtle change in angles can create the most varied temperatures.

I find a shower relaxing after a hard day of writing articles about daily life. It’s quite soothing. Often, the hot drops of water invite me to imagine a mid summer rain, the sun shining, and running through a garden sprinkler. It is a sensation unlike any other.

It so happens that there exists a tiny non-swim pool inside my shower. It’s there for the sole purpose of awaiting feet expecting a nice, deep exposure to water. It fills solely through hydraulic exposure, and it’s way more portable than your average swimming pool.


I’ve written many of my songs in CGINSP’s. And still today, I maintain that showers are the most comfortable way of being inside a pool without actually being inside a pool.

I give this pool a 9/10.

If you have a pool you need reviewed, please don’t hesitate to contact the author of this article at nikolasmurdock@gmail.com


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