A year ago I promised a pool review. You may wonder, dear reader, what exactly is there to review about a pool. Well, if the internet has taught us anything at all, it is that humans possess the god-given right to review everything around them. Be that movies, books, albums, roads and trees. Hotels seem to get the harshest of these reviews, though, followed by restaurants.
Today i will review the pool inside my division (I googled the translation for fraccionamiento and this is what popped up. I will research further into the matter.) I have been using this pool almost daily since I moved to Guadalajara.
What to write about such a particularly nice specimen? This pool is the most basic of pools. It is a big hole in the ground, inside of which water has been placed to the level necessary for a human to swim in. What more could we possible expect from such a marvelous invention?
Well, heating, as it turns out. This is a particularly cold pool because of the fact that it does not count with heating equipment. Many a-neighbors have indeed tried to dive into the waters of this modern leviathan of hydration and cursed the very womb from whence they came. Even football players, in all of their strength and bravery, seem to cower in fear of what they describe as “Agua bien pinche fría” (Very fucking cold water).
I find myself laughing at these barbarians lacking in illumination and ultimately ruining what could be the most precious moments of their lives. They are certainly the most precious moments of my life.
Lately I have been conducting research about staying underwater for as long as I can. I am a pioneer of this field, surely. In my adventures I discovered that it is easier to stay underwater once you have exhaled all the air inside your lungs. However, this brief moment of joy comes with a price, as your body tries desperately to breathe and you find yourself swatting at the water to reach the surface.
The brief seconds when your body isn’t floating anymore are precious. It’s like being in space. You find your place in the universe. It’s right there, beneath the rays of the sun and the surface of the chlorified water.
And you realize exactly where you should be.
For those of you who already want to jump inside the cold waters of this example of a modern marvel of the world, let me tell you, it’s not all pretty eyes and rice krispies treats. The pool lacks underwater stairs leading to the exit, or even the obligatory ladder to the surface. To get out, you need to strengthen your biceps and triceps and jump-sit from the deep end to the shallow end. Also, you need to request the opening of the pool every day you’re going to use it. For a socially-anxious person like me, this is almost too much. Almost I said.
I give this pool an 8/10.
If you have a pool you need reviewed, please do not hesitate to contact the author of this post at firstname.lastname@example.org