I guess the real question is, “Am I in love with you?”
The short answer is no.
The long answer is “yes, but I keep realizing and re-realizing that we’re never going to be together and so am forced to recede my feelings for you and try to ignore you even though it’s not working too well but I still try”
The really long answer is “fuck fuck fuck shit fuck shit come on really again? shit fuck ass dick vagina asshole fuck shit (and so on)”
I mean, you’ve got other things to do, but I’m going to write this down anyway.
Social Alienation is what it’s called. It’s being close to others yet far to others.
I live in a crystal and you live in another crystal and everyone else I know lives in another crystal that I will never be able to break or
break or
break or
It’s your eyes. I think it’s everyone’s eyes. I hate love adore despise everyone’s eyes.
Normal fucking eyes.
It’s your eyes, you know? They’re not normal.
I wish I wasn’t like this.
Cold. Empty. Unreachable. Alienated. Neutral. Honestly Disinterested.
Not like this.
I’ve been looking at you for so long, hoping that you’ll someday look back. Hoping that anybody looks back and sees me.
Hiding
Awkwardly
Behind a bush
Dear god I’m in a really dark place
A really fucking dark place
Please stop reading now

 

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