I know many things. I know Girls in hip-hop music videos are just there to give me an erection. I know I’m very shy when it comes to flirting. I know rappers have a thing lately of replacing lyrics with their name. I know apples grow on trees and trees grow on land and the word ‘land’ can also be used as a verb. Planes land on airports and airports are full of people and people are beautiful but none of them is as beautiful as you.
I know I’m not artistic enough to make a happening. I know I’m not shameless enough to introduce myself as an artist. I know I’m not brave enough to fight a bear empty handed. I know bears live in caves and caves are dark and darkness is light with the colors reversed. I know dogs bark and bark covers willows and willows weep and weeping is pretty much all I do lately.
I know you don’t talk to me because you don’t care and I know you don’t care because you don’t know me and I know you don’t know me because you don’t talk to me. I know ducks are noisy because I’ve heard them and I know cinnamon rolls are delicious because I’ve tasted them and I know water is odorless because I’ve tried to smell it and I know you’re pretty because I’ve seen you and I know you’re shallow because I’ve read your Facebook statuses.
I know doctors diagnose and drug addicts overdose and my self-confidence is comatose and trying to find something to rhyme with diagnose is the worst thing that can happen to someone. I know drugs are bad except when they’re prescribed and I know dobermans are harmful unless they’re leashed and I know books should not be judged by their cover unless the cover says “A Brief History of The Balkans” because the Balkans actually have a pretty long history.
I know love is a four letter word and hate is a four letter word and the bigger the word the less used it is and I know that’s why no one uses “Cheiloproclitic”, even if it accurately describes most of my feelings for you. I know that if I want to know you it’s because I don’t know who you really are. I know leaves are green and blood is red and the ocean is blue and everything is relative. I know that if everything is relative, then I can’t be sure of anything and therefore everything I know is wrong.
I know nothing.