It's A Bit Like Being In My Own Graduation Party

Hanging out in a party like this, you would think I’ve got it down to a science. Sitting in a table where half the people are strangers you would think I prepare a list of conversation topics so I don’t have to keep to myself.
The thing is, these kind of parties remind me of why I didn’t attend my high school graduation party. None of my friends are here. Nobody I actually know is here. I’m very quiet and my main distraction is to get drunk or smoke.
It makes me wonder why anyone comes to these things. Are they more experienced than me? Have they been to more of these parties than me? Did all of them actually pay to feel uncomfortable?
They’re screaming now so they must be showing photos or something. I remember I was nominated for some graduation award for best couple, with my girlfriend from back then. I was never there to accept the award but I didn’t want it anyway. I do remember I was unhappy, but from what I’ve read, I seem to have been unhappy most of my life.
If I think about it, there’s not a lot of things that make me happy. If I’m not drunk or stoned I can’t really think of anything. and anyway, I do seem to be pretty depressive when I’m drunk.
The food wasn’t bad, but it wasn’t brilliant either. The music its loud and the girls are very pretty and still I can’t think of a reason to stop being here, writing this.

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