Emperor Murdock The III Of The Friendzone Empire

I love how the friendzone has become so mainstream with the internet. Long ago, when the only way people had of learning about relationships was through romantic chick-flicks or by actual experience, the friendzone was a strange place in which you sometimes found yourself, but told nobody. Now, everyone’s fucking proud of being in the friendzone. Everybody declares themselves friendzoned and proceeds to explain why they’re there and how they’ll never get out.

I honestly think it’s a joke. I’ve been in so many friendzones for such a long time that I might as well have a public position. I might as well have a fucking legacy. Hence the title. If I think about it, it’s a really uncomfortable place, but it doesn’t make me sad. It makes me angry. Not enough to kill somebody but enough to write an angry rant. Hence the rant.

Maybe if I were in many more friendzones I would not really care. Maybe if it were a part of me then there wouldn’t be a problem. But I hate the uncertainty that comes with friendzones. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. Especially friendzones belonging to people that I actually still like. Those are particularly unpleasant.

I think “Why am I talking to you? Why am I still talking to you? I should stop, this is making me uncomfortable. But I really want to talk to somebody. Dammit I really want to talk to someone. I really want to talk to you. I don’t know why, but I really want to talk to you.”

And then I’m talking to you again.

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