My Smiley Face Is Crying. :…)

It doesn’t take a genius to  notice that the moment I expressed some kind of interest towards you, you lost absolutely all interest towards me. I guess I got excited way too soon. I don’t mean to sound all Sherlock Holmish, but the way you talk was very different before I even said anything. I can just feel the rejection coming, like a looming guillotine. Like a cloud looming over me all the time. Watching. Waiting. It seems to have cleared sometimes, but soon enough there it is again. Big. Black. Slowly but Surely Reappearing. This may be just what the doctor ordered. Another case of friend-zoning, as they call it. Another case of let’s just be friends. Is that the tenth already? The twenieth? Maybe we should have a party or something. Get Drunk and smoke some Mary Jane. We’ll print out big signs and invite all our friends. This is not a comedy or a tragedy anymore. This is a roller coaster ride filled with emotional climaxes. Will she say no? Tune in next week to find out that…YES!!! SHE SAYS NO!!! It’s such bad television. There are no surprises. It’s all too predictable. Boy meets girl. Boy gets interested in girl. Boy tells girl. Girl rejects him. Rinse. Repeat. Rinse. Repeat. Change Girls. Repeat. Don’t change girls. Repeat. I should really have a scoreboard in my room. Something like “20 days with no depression attacks”. Right now it would say “Fifteen days without depression attacks, oh no wait, cancel that, yeah make it zero days again”. Running my own little corporation, all inside my room. My own little employees, inside my head. Every single one of them depressed.




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