I think my problem lies in that I understand. I’m never really angry at anyone, because I understand. I once heard some writer say that, once you understand how the world works, it either depresses you to the point of suicide, or you learn to laugh at it.
I think everybody deserves a love story. Everyone deserves to grow old and have kids and then tell them the incredibly interesting story about how their parents met. I’ll probably be a part of very few of those stories, and that’s ok. Sure, I’ve had my fair share of girls I would like to date, and some of them are dating other guys now. Lines are uni- dimensional, if I was not destined to be in their stories, there is no way I would want to try to change that. I don’t feel longing for being with the girl I was in love with, I’ve slowly but surely gotten over it. I don’t feel sad anymore because i’m not with her, I just feel sad that I’m lonely.
There’s no way I will ever come to think that being alone is ok, it’s just not something I like. Some people may love to be single and take it as an excuse to go out and get drunk with their friends, but I don’t. I have no fear of admitting that I don’t like being single, but that doesn’t mean that I want to go and get in a relationship with the first girl that I see, though I could try. It means that I would like to meet someone to relate to in a very personal way. Sure, maybe kiss sometimes…or all the time.
So i guess the point I’m making is: I wish I did not understand. I wish I could get genuinely angry with anyone and shout at them and not be at all familiar with their point of view, but I can’t. I can see your lines. I can predict your lines. I can try to change your lines and make them turn towards me, but I know it’s not going to happen, and that makes me kind of sad. Nevertheless, it makes me insanely happy to listen to people talk about their successful relationships, and how they started. ‘How we met’ stories will always be my favorite kind of stories.So, for now, I think I’ll just laugh at the world for a while, and maybe I’ll get occasionally depressed further down the road, but I’ll be mostly laughing.