Confessional of True Feelings and Retrieval of Doubt

Yes, I’m jealous. I’m in love and I’m jealous. Why is it no longer valid to fall in love instantaneously? Why is love-by-sight no longer an approved practice in the field of applied romanticism? Why is it not believable when I tell you that you make me so nervous that when we’re together my words just slurp out like an uneducated stream of stupidity? I could be much cooler around you if only you weren’t so incredibly beautiful, so awesomely smart, or so infinitely unreachable. I’ve already mentioned that this is all driving me mad, but if I was already mad before, how madder can i really get? It’s time to confess, again. I like you, a lot. I am constantly ogling you. I can’t stop looking at your pictures. I write songs, stories and poems about you. I’m a little obsessed, yes. In my opinion, obsessed is good. Maybe you have a different opinion. You could tell me. Maybe i’d get a little less obsessed, but probably not. I still remember when I first laid eyes on you. It’s no exaggeration that you were, and still are, the most beautiful girl/woman I have ever seen. If the world was beautifully and correctly written to work just the way i want it to, then it would freeze every time our gazes meet.I would, then, hardly ever get anything done.  Who cares if we don’t really know each other? Don’t we have our entire lives to have meaningful conversations about our feelings and our tastes in entertainment? I know I’ve got so much time I don’t really know what to do with it. Time I could specifically assign to realizing your every whim. Time I could redirect to my “Making true your every desire” Department. If you’re not ready for a relationship right now, I could train you. If you don’t want a relationship right now, I could wait. No, scratch that, I can’t wait. I’m truly and utterly impatient. I want you right now. I mean it.  I want to kiss you everywhere; in the library, in the gym, in every classroom, in the TV studio, in the cafeteria, in the cafeteria kitchen, in the bathroom of the cafeteria kitchen, in front of the teacher’s lounge, inside the teacher’s lounge, on top of the desk of one of the teachers in the teacher’s lounge. EVERYWHERE. This long wait is killing me. I’m just saying that i tend to change my opinions quite fast. I can’t keep focused in something for long, and it’s awesome that I’m still focused on you, despite my continued attempts to distract myself.I can’t seem to shake the thought of you from my mind, and I’ve tried so many times to do it. Maybe I’m not your type, that could be a good explanation for the fact that you seem to ignore my advances. That’s acceptable, just know that you are my type. You are my ONLY type. If could like another girl, I would, but she would probably have to be EXACTLY like you. I mean like identical twins who share opinions and tastes and personality. Basically a clone. Yes, I’m jealous. I’m in love and I’m jealous.


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