Letter to an Unlikely Love

Dearest Marion:

I write in times of great sadness and despair. I seem to be lost in a sea to which you are the only lighthouse. In these cold winds that chill my soul and my body down to the smallest particle, I look to you. I write this lines no longer as a friend or acquaintance, but as a man deeply and maniacally in love with you. I no longer breath air, but pure, distilled love, kept secret for so long that it can be no longer be considered an emotion, but a pure transparent substance with which I fill my lungs each morning in the hopes that  you will  someday love me too. When I think of you,  I feel those famous butterflies that make home of one’s stomach, to the extent that I what actually feel comes closer to a pack of seagulls moving inside me. Longest nights I have spent awake staring at my ceiling imagining that you feel the same way. Entire days I have imagined walking with together with you on that sandy beach you seem to love so much. My mind never seems to want to stop thinking about that first kiss, that first sweet sweet kiss for which I wake up every morning.

You’ll probably dismiss my love as a passing thought. You’ll say I don’t know you enough to be so deep in what i call love with you. My ears still ring when I think about just how much you seem to be taken by that man you seem to always be talking to. It’s eating me apart to think that my conversation is just an occasional occurrence for you. It pains me deeply when you seem to not care the least about responding to my questions. I can’t think of any other way to tell you that I’m completely out of my mind for you, and still you choose to spend your time with another.

I know I will eventually give up and stop declaring my love for you. I know you will eventually stop reading my letters, and that’s OK. Suffice it to say that there is no way you can forget me if I was never a memory to begin with. If there is no way leading to your heart I will before long get tired of building roads to take myself there. There are no other women for me out there but you, and even though I wish I was the only man for you, I know you think differently. Needless to say I will still spend sleepless nights thinking about your hair, your eyes, your lips. Needless to say I will probably always be a fool for you and the way you talk. Needless to say I will always imagine what my life would be like if you felt for me what I feel for you. You will always be in my dreams, and i will always dream of being in yours.

Your lost soul,

Nikolas Murdock


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