Pretending

I’m forced to pretend that I don’t love you

That every word you say doesn’t take my breath away

That every conversation that we have means nothing to me

That when you talk to someone else, my heart does not skip a beat

That if you leave I don’t mind

That when you hold his hand I’m happy

That you are just another part of my day

That I only care for others, whereas I only care for you

That when you smile I don’t go mad

That I’m not looking for you all the time

That it’s ok that you don’t really like me that much

That i’s cool to just be friends

Even though I’m savoring every second

Every word

Every movement

Every time our gazes meet

It goes by so fast

It all goes by so fast

And it’s driving me insane

It’s driving me beautifully, maniacally, slowly, romantically insane

The fact that you’re so unbearably, infinitely, discretely, amazingly beautiful is driving me crazy

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