Today i was stuck in traffic for like half an hour. It seems the traffic lights were turned off in a particularly unpleasant place, a six-way crossing. This means that eve if society had chosen to stop its ignorant prancing and actually stopped and helped others for a while, it would have to do so a minimum of three times, which is near impossible. So i had to stop my vehicle and wait while the public transport bitches made everybody else look stupid while they proceeded to shit on everybody else’s day. Patiently, I waited for the responsible men and women of the transit authority department to make an appearance and save us all from the eternal pain and sadness that arriving late to wherever it was we were going would bring. To make the wait more pleasant, I decided to put one of my favorite songs on repeat.
Eight repetitions of “Some Fantastic” later, I found myself a little bit angrier than I was eight repetitions of “Some Fantastic” before, but not as angry as I could be if I wasn’t listening to “Some Fantastic”. Suddenly, from the crowd of automobiles I heard faint whistling sounds. My heart raced as five or six policemen emerged from the chaos and positioned themselves strategically across the street to manage and pinpoint traffic. They were carrying radios and my expectations of what these men could do for me rapidly increased as I renewed my hopes on the traffic department and started thinking about how they could use those radios to communicate with each other as they fought valiantly to return peace to our crossing, but I was deceived.
The policemen rapidly proceeded to prove that no one should ever expect much from the traffic department. For starters, society did whatever it could manage to negate the policemen’s efforts which, honestly, were not that impressive. When the radios seemed to be useless to synchronize the crossings, they started using whatever they could to communicate with each other, including cellphones, shouting and whistles. It didn’t work. The public transport industry seemed to be particularly bent on stopping any chance of anyone getting anywhere, let alone where we actually wanted to go. Once, the policeman in charge of the street in which I was stuck seemed to disappear to try and talk some sense in the others, but apparently failed. Eventually he returned and proceeded to make weird gestures with his hands in an attempt to fix his previous shortcomings, but failed again.
Several angry drivers later, I found myself in the middle of the crossing, with a very calm taxi driver who should not have been in front of me, in front of me. The policeman was now making agitated movements with his arms indicating me and the other drivers at my sides to keep going. I wondered how exactly he expected me to keep going when there was another car in front of mine. Was he going to pay for the damages? Was he not going to report me if i hit the taxi? While i was wondering about this, an opening presented itself in the lane to my right. Like lighting hitting the earth in a rainy day I activated my turning light to indicate to the good people at my right that I planned to transport myself approximately one meter to my right, just enough to take full advantage of the opening and arrive early at school.
My fellow drivers, however, had other plans. With angry faces they cut me off repeatedly and I began to wonder if civilization was really lost in the modern world. Several cars later I decided to abandon any hope of redemption with my companions and embraced the driving animal inside me. With great decision I cut one of the drivers off, and overtook the lane, only to find that the path had been cut by a large bearded man on a bus. My anger knew no limits as I cursed the heavens in futility.
About five minutes later, the traffic looked no better than it had looked five minutes ago, and my patience, once a rich and endless fountain, was now a faint stream barely supplying me of any endorphin. However, great providence decided to look my way and I found once again not far from my position an opening in the endless river of buses and cabs. This time I did not honor my education and simply drove slightly to the right like I was minding my own business, even though I really wasn’t. With great joy I found myself away from the crowd and once again on my way to school.
This sudden happiness was destroyed when my teacher refused my proposal to attend his class even though I had arrived late by half an hour.